Cincinnati Bengals vs. Pittsburgh Steelers preview

I once had a college professor who told us that people can be categorized into two categories: Tiggers and Eeyores. His message to his pupils was to live like Tiggers, cherishing each day and making the most out of life. To this day, I hold that sentiment to my heart, although I did lose a certain amount of respect for the teacher after I realized he had lifted this theory from Randy Pausch’s The Last Lecture.

Why do I bring this up? Even though it’s only Week 3, the Bengals have turned their entire fan base into Tiggers or Eeyores, which is actually a compliment, considering in years’ past many in Cincinnati were more morose than the fictional donkey at this juncture in the season. So without further ado, here’s a preview of this week’s battle between the Who-Deys and Pittsburgh Steelers from the perspective of Tigger and Eeyore.

Record: 1-1

• Tigger: This team could be 2-0 if it wasn’t for a miracle play against Denver! Damn that Brandon Stokley!

• Eeyore: This team should be 0-2. Thank God the refs were apathetic in reaching the line of scrimmage in time for the final snap.

Bengals Offense

• Tigger: Carson’s back! Palmer’s strut and swagger was reminiscent of his 2005 and 2006 seasons. And what about Cedric Benson! He’s totaled 217 yards in the first two contests, and has performed well in pass-blocking situations. After a shaky opening week, the receiving corps bounced back, with Chad Ochocinco leading the way with 4 catches, 91 yards and a touchdown. Speaking of Chad, how about that Lambeau Leap? He bounces higher than me, Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

• Eeyore: So they scored some points against a battered secondary missing Atari Bigby and Nick Collins, big whoop. The offense only managed a touchdown against Denver, at home no less. Nobody has replaced Houshmandzadeh’s ability to go over the middle, and Henry, who’s clearly the number two wideout, is spending most of the game on the sideline. And all the fuss about Chad jumping into the crowd was a letdown, especially when it came out that he planted Bengal fans in the front row.

Bengals Defense

• Tigger: 1985 Bears, 2000 Ravens…2009 Bengals? Ok, so maybe they haven’t reached that echelon yet, but the defense has come out firing. Five sacks for Antwan Odom? Unbelievable! The linebacking squad is a hard-hitting highlight reel waiting to happen, and the secondary has matured quicker than critics expected.

• Eeyore: Five sacks are impressive, until you realize that they came against Daryn Colledge, who was filling in for the injured Chad Clifton. Holding Denver to twelve points would be notable, but Denver’s starting quarterback is Kyle Orton. And Kyle Orton is, well, Kyle Orton.

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Steelers Offense

• Tigger: Through the first two games, Willie Parker only has 66 rushing yards. His backup, Rashard Mendenhall, hasn’t fared much better, accruing 45 yards. Ben Roethlisberger must be color blind, because he’s thrown 3 interceptions compared to just 2 touchdowns. And Hines Ward? Well, let’s see if he’s still smiling when Keith Rivers knocks him back into tomorrow when he comes across the middle on Sunday.

• Eeyore: No matter how much penetration the line gets, the D can never seem to tackle Roethlisberger. Ward always kills us, and historically, Fast Willie has a field day facing the orange-and-black.

Steelers Defense

• Tigger: No Troy Polamalu? Oh boy, Carson might pass for 500 yards!

• Eeyore: Even without the long-haired Samoan, this unit has enough weapons in their arsenal to make a quarterback have nightmares for weeks. Casey Hampton is one of the league’s most underrated players, LaMarr Woodley is quickly becoming Bart Scott 2.0, and James Harrison looks like he might kill someone on the field.

Special Teams

• Tigger: Shayne Graham is Shayne-o-matic in the Jungle. Plus, did you see Jeff Reed was crying on the sideline last week? What a little girl!

• Eeyore: Watching Jeff Reed cry was pretty funny.

Verdict

My head is saying Pittsburgh is going to walk out of PBS the victors, but I guess I’m a Tigger at heart.

Prediction

Bengals 27, Steelers 20

By Joel Beall
ProFootball-fans.com Cincinnati Bengals Correspondent