A New Era in Jets Football

Jets fans have a lot to look forward to this year. Namely, the Rex Ryan Era. I am titillated just typing this. Yes, I just said titillated. The fact that I love a guy so much who has not even coached a game for the Jets is due to something I like to refer to as the “Herm Edwards effect.” Herm was so poor as Jets coach, so inept at managing the clock that I talked myself into Eric Mangini, a guy who we now know DID NOT WANT TO NAME HIS STARTING QUARTERBACK UNTIL AFTER THE START OF THE FIRST GAME OF THE SEASON. What was I thinking?

Rex Ryan however is a man. Simple as that. He will tell you what he thinks and if you don’t like that, then too bad. Rex is the perfect coach for New York. Unless he doesn’t win, then he will be dead to me.

This year the Jets get to usher out all the phonies. I won’t have to go to a bar this year and have to deal with someone wearing my team’s apparel claiming to root for them because they are a “Favre fan.” A Favre fan? Excuse me? You’re not welcome here anymore. Now get rid of those stupid cheesecake hats. Enjoy rooting for your division rivals.

Instead of that old man, the Jets will be lead on offense by the Guadalajara Gunslinger himself, the Mexican Joe Namath, the USC THROWjan (too much?), GQ cover boy, and Rookie QB Mark Sanchez. I pray every night before I go to sleep that he will be good.

The Jets defense also has a new leader. One Bart Scott. Lookout. In Scott, and David Harris the Jets have two excellent tackling linebackers behind standout nose tackle Kris Jenkins. Add to that Rex Ryan’s psycho factor. He will blitz ‘em and he will do it all day.

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This week, known to many around the world as Week 1, but to me as “The Real Christmas”, but only if John Madden had the powers of Santa Claus except for merely looking like him; the Jets play the Texans…at Texan.

2009 Run-on sentence count: 1

The upstart Texans seem to always go 8-8 and are a perennial sleeper pick to make the playoffs and finally get over the hump. This year is no different. I don’t want to get too into analysis on this one, but let me make it simple. The Texans are loaded on offense. Their defense on the other hand may not be able to stop Tila Tequila from leaving the house. Although the Texans boast a lot of talent on the defensive side of the ball, led by Charlie Casserly’s favorite player Mario Williams and tackler extraordinaire DeMeco Ryans, the Texans defense has yet to put it together, ranking 22 nd in the league in defensive yards allowed, 23 rd against the run. Houston is counting on two newcomers to the linebacking corps ( New Jersey’s own) Brian Cushing and Connor Barwin from Cincinnati to help them put it together.

On offense, the Texans have their version of the triplets along with a bruiser of a tight end referred to by Mike Lombardi as Owen “Daniel”, not too be confused with Josh “McDaniel.” The best part about Lombardi calling those dudes by the wrong names is that he vehemently thinks WITHOUT QUESTION that that’s how you pronounce those names, making it obvious that he came from the Raiders. A part of me can’t blame him though, if I spent that much time around Al Davis and Art Shell, I’m not sure I would even understand the English language anymore let alone people’s names.

Back to the game.

Andre Johnson might be the best wide receiver in the league. Matt Schaub is a top ten NFL quarterback when he actually stays healthy. Yes, I said it. Let’s be honest the Jets chances this week don’t look so strong especially when you consider the fact that they have a new head coach in his first ever game running a team and a rookie quarterback. Needless to say, Vegas won’t be shifting the line in the Jets favor. In fact if the Jets win this week, they will essentially screw more people than Ayiiia did on this season of “The Real World”. Anyone who watched this season will know that both men and women will be involved.

The Jets defense is better, but the Texans can put points up on the board. The Jets are going to struggle this week in Sanchez’s debut. The running game may be stellar, but Sanchez needs to perform well to come away with a victory.

In my opinion, the Texans will be too much for the Jets this week.

Prediction:

Texans 22

Jets 10

Jets fans, it could be worse. We could still have Brett Favre’s withering carcass throwing picks all day long. VIVA SANCHEZ!...HORRALE!.

By Daniel Rein
ProFootball-fans.com New York Jets Correspondent